Some gold, anyone?

Now the question on everybody's mind: "Just how does he do it?" Hmm,if it were that easy, everyone could just go "poof" and produce gold. We could not have that, could we? What would the world be like if everybody were rich? Everyone would then want the largest piece of pie. The biggest salad. The meatiest steak. Can you tell I haven't eaten since I broke my fast yesterday? And no, I don't have all the money in the world and I have never been offered the largest piece of pie. Being a diminutive fellow, everyone thinks I only need a sliver of food and that's just not fair! I get hungry just like everyone else and my stomach is no smaller than the king's stomach. In fact, I bet I could eat him under the table and unlike him, I could actually fit under the table. And now you're probably thinking: "you haven't answered the question posed at the beginning of the paragraph." The truth is, there really is no answer. I just did it. I know that's not you wanted to hear, but that is all I have got for you.

And as for the handsome fellow featured at the top of this post, that is not me. Despite my hearty appetite, my belly is flat. And my expression is much more sensitive than his. He is just a bloke that I met and sketched during my travels. He was more than happy to pose for me, in spite of how it may appear. I think he said his name was Grumpy, but I could be wrong. Maybe that's my own faulty memory coming into play... And the 2009 on the stone he was standing on? It was the population of the village. And is that a stake that he's holding? What does he think he is? A vampire slayer?